Trip to Luohe

The trip to Luohe yesterday was stressful at times, but we are very glad that we went. We left the hotel at eight in a rented van with one other family and Evelyn, one of our agency guides. The other family had adopted a little boy from Luohe who is a few months younger than Michelle. We arrived at the orphanage on the outskirts of town a little before eleven and met the Orphanage director. His staff served us tea and he told us (through Evelyn) about his Social Welfare Institute (SWI) which includes both the orphanage and a Senior Care home. He also presented both families with a framed embroidery (like a cross-stitch) that was made by some of the older children in the orphanage.

Some of the SWI staff then took us on a tour of the orphanage. We saw the room where Michelle spent much of her time when she was an infant. There were several kids there along with a couple of nannies. The nannies were very happy to see Michelle. One of the boys seemed to recognize her because he ran over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Michelle didn’t seem scared, but she did hold on to Midge the whole time we were there. We passed out candy canes and took a picture of the crib which the nannies said Michelle had slept in as a baby. We were disappointed when they asked us not to take any pictures of the children.

We then went upstairs and visited a room sponsored by our adoption agency for children with severe special needs. The room was brightly painted and the equipment and furnishings were more modern. On the way back downstairs we met a Chinese man and his wife who greeted us in English with “Merry Christmas” and introduced themselves. They told us that they were Christians and that they had two older biological children and had also adopted two special needs children from the orphanage. They were very nice and seemed unusually open about their faith for Chinese. We were not able to talk for long because we were headed into the town to meet Michelle’s foster family, but they made quite an impression on us.

The drive through downtown Luohe was an experience in itself. Traffic laws in China are seen as loose guidelines by most drivers. There are also large numbers of mopeds and even bicycles sharing the road with the cars which adds to the excitement. Unlike Beijing or even Zhengzhou, in Luohe the mopeds and bikes outnumbered the cars. I also saw a donkey cart in the mix. Right of way here is determined by the relative size of the vehicles, so it helped that we were in a large van. There were countless close calls as we wove through the traffic but we made it to the proper address without hitting anyone.

Luohe doesn’t get too many foreign visitors so we attracted a lot of attention when we got off the van. The first place we went was to Michelle’s foster grandmother’s home. A sweet old lady came outside who Michelle reached out to and obviously recognized. The woman then started calling out to her friends in the neighborhood and a crowd quickly gathered. Everyone was friendly, but it was a little disconcerting being the center of so much attention. It was clear though that everyone in the neighborhood knew Michelle and was fond of her.

A few minutes later Michelle’s foster mother came and gave her a piece of candy. She held Michelle for a minute and spoke with her in Chinese. Michelle obviously was attached to her. Then the foster mom handed her off to one of the neighbors in the crowd and offered to show us her home. By this time a crowd of about 50 people had gathered. We decided that my daughter Lizzy and I would go along with our guide, Evelyn. Midge, my mom, Bill Jr. and Josh stayed with the crowd as they passed around Michelle.

We went up to the foster mother’s apartment and she showed us where Michelle had played and slept for the past several months. She told us (through Evelyn) that Michelle had been very withdrawn when she was first placed in her care and that she had loved seeing her become more outgoing. The foster mother had been cheerful in the crowd of townspeople, but she got a little emotional in the apartment. She loved Michelle and was sad to see her go. We were all teary-eyed. Evelyn suggested to the foster mother that she might want to stay there, but she insisted that she wanted to see Michelle one more time. Being a foster parent is an important job because it has such a positive impact on the children’s development, but it must be a very tough thing to give the children back, even if you know that they are going to a great home.

After a few minutes we left the apartment and went back to the crowd of people on the corner. While we had been gone Michelle had passed through the arms of several of the women in the crowd. The foster mother took her from a neighbor, kissed her, and then handed her back to Midge. We got back on the van and everyone in the neighborhood waved goodbye to us as we headed back to the SWI for lunch. Michelle seemed happy sitting on Midge’s lap, but I think Midge was a little shaken by the whole experience. We had expected some strong emotions when meeting the foster mother but had not been prepared to be ‘mobbed’ by half the neighborhood.

The lunch at the SWI was the best that we have had so far in China. They grow many of their own vegetables right there on the SWI campus and raise a few pigs as well. They told us that the cook had once worked at a fine hotel. We all ate our fill and then spent a few minutes watching some of the senior residents play mahjong before boarding the van. Michelle had fun playing peek-a-boo with Midge for most of the trip back. She also sat next to me for the whole ride and decided that I am not such a bad guy after all.