Summer Fun

It seems like my kids will be in school forever... as I read on Facebook and hear from friends in other parts of the U.S. who are getting out of school this week, I can't believe we still have 4 more weeks left!

But, we have some fun summer plans to look forward to as well. We are planning a reunion with our travel group. There were 12 families that went with us to Henan Province, and we will join about half the group this summer in a central location for most of us.

When we looked at the map, we realized Michelle's "Big Sister" from her orphanage and who we believe spent some time in foster care with Michelle as well, lives very close to our reunion site. We have kept in touch with Molly's family, and invited them to join the fun. Read what Molly's mom said this morning in her blog
http://blogbyteresa.blogspot.com/

We feel a special connection to all the kids from Luohe, but Molly holds a special place in our hearts. We think of her as family, even though we have never met her. When we visited Michelle's foster mom in Luohe, we asked to see Molly, but were told she was out playing with the foster-moms' sister.

Michelle was younger than Molly when she was adopted. I'm not sure if Michelle will ever be able to articulate to us what life was like for her in China. But Molly can, and I hang on every blog her Mommy posts, especially whenever Molly tells of her time in China. She is not only Michelle's "Big Sister", but in many ways we feel like she is Michelle's voice as well.

I can't wait to see this beautiful, spunky, precious child for myself this summer!

Input would be appreciated!

This blog post is really written with other IA parents in mind. Of course, anyone can read and contribute, but I am really hoping for some input from other adoptive moms.

Let me begin by saying we love Michelle's speech therapist! "J" is amazing, and she has done wonders with Michelle this year. We also love Mrs. Z and Mrs. C at preschool. We couldn't ask for better people to love Michelle and be her first teachers.

The speech therapist has been going into preschool for a few weeks, trying to work with Michelle outside of our home environment. Michelle normally does very well in school, but she has 2 things she doesn't really like - story time and music. I've sort of joked here about her not liking music, but I really do think some of this is outside Michelle's realm of control. Yes, there are going to be things in life she doesn't like, and yes, she must learn to control herself (as in, I get that she can't roll all over the floor and be disruptive during circle time. I really do get that!) However, I don't think story time/circle time and music are especially "3-year-old" friendly at this particular school. I've watched how they do both, and let's just say, I would do things differently. In the words of Forest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."

So here's what happened - last week while "J" was in preschool with Michelle, all the same behavior began again. They were having story time, and Michelle began the rolling around business again. So "J" told her if she wanted to have snack later, she better behave during story time or she wouldn't be able to have snack.

I guess this brought the desired response - Michelle sat up and listened much better. Mrs. Z reported all this to me, and I couldn't really read what her thoughts were on the whole situation. To be honest, it took me a little while to process what my thoughts were on the situation.

Here's the thing - I'm not o.k. with Michelle having food used as a form of discipline. We don't know a lot about Michelle's time in the orphanage, but I am certain of this - when she arrived in our home she was certainly malnourished, and I believe undernourished as well. Her hair and skin were incredibly dry, she ate with such vigor it scared us, and she was wearing size 12 months even though she was almost 2 and a half years old. It took a long time for her to trust us with food. It took a while before she realized it was o.k. to leave food on her plate, that we would feed her again soon. It took her a long time to be more excited about the happy meal toys than the french fries. (Yes, we go to McDonald's - please don't judge me!)

So, today when "J" came for her speech therapy at our home, I addressed this with her and told her it wasn't o.k. with me. She was very apologetic, and I assured her I knew she would never intentionally harm Michelle. Yet I still feel uneasy about the whole situation.

The reality of it is this - I want my daughter to be treated like everyone else. I don't want her to have to be sad when they bring in baby pictures to school and we don't have any of her. (O.K., we do have one very fuzzy black&white finding ad picture - does that count?) I don't want to have to explain to the teacher that it's not o.k. to put her in time out, because we don't really know if she was isolated in the orphanage, but suspect she may have been and don't think it's a good idea. I want her to grow up as normal as possible. And yet, I know in some ways she is different from other children. She didn't have anyone who loved her, who held her at night when she went to sleep, who gave her love and attention and food when she was a baby.

I know there are lots of moms who have gone this road before me. Do you always have to remind teachers, for the rest of their lives, that they might just need a little different consideration? Do you make a point of having these conversations before they arrive, or do you just wait and encounter them as each situation arrives? It's not always as easy as it might first appear.

Disney Fun

Minnie and Minnie

Every year my daughter Lizzy (La-La as Michelle still affectionately calls her) is part of the Disney Concert at her school. It's always on a Saturday, and it's always for the purpose of raising food and funds for the local food bank. This year there was a bit of a glitch - the power went out just minutes before the concert. This presented a bit of a dilemma - with hundreds of young children eagerly awaiting their favorite Disney characters and songs, cancelling really wasn't an option. But singing in the dark wasn't either. We finally decided to move the whole thing to the school cafeteria and perform it on backup generator power. The show must go on!

Michelle and Lizzy, also known as big sister La-La, also known as Rafiki from Broadway's version of Lion King.

Isn't the internet cool?

We have met some of the nicest people through blogs and internet groups. It is really special to us when we can connect with anyone who adopted from the same orphanage where Michelle lived. We "met" the Morgan family just before we went to get Michelle (you can read their blog on our sidebar, Little Brother Here We Come). Their little boy is only a few weeks younger than Michelle and came home just a few weeks after her. When we found out they were going to be in our "neck of the woods", we knew they had to come over for a chance to meet them for real. We had a nice dinner and a wonderful time visiting with them. It was great to see all those sweet children playing together, even if Michelle didn't do a great job sharing her toys. (We need to work on that!) I hope our paths cross again!

Mothers day

Michelle's preschool did a Mother's Day Program. This is the very beginning, about 10 seconds before Michelle spotted me and bolted! I have been told by her teacher, "Michelle doesn't like music." What?!! And yet, this is the 3rd program I have attended, and I have never heard my child sing a word. At home she sings all the time. We are a musical family, so she really has no choice but to like music in our home. But at school, I am told she will not participate in music. My oldest daughter has a theory - she thinks Michelle has very sophisticated musical taste and therefore preschool music is boring to her. She does love the "Bea-bles" after all.

After the program we went back to the classroom for cookies and gifts. I love the little handprint cards and plastic flowers. I am blessed to get to experience all these once again. (Her hair was looking a little crazy. It was the end of the day.)

Fun at the Farm

Michelle's preschool visited Frying Pan Farm this past week for a field trip. It was a perfect day, and we had so much fun seeing all the baby farm animals.
When I asked Michelle what animals she thought we might see, she said she wanted to see a baby humpback whale. I think she has been watching a little too much Dora and Diego.
There were a LOT of baby pigs - Michelle thought they were really funny.
She was a little concerned about the ones under the "fire", but I told her the lamp would not hurt them and helped keep them warm.
Her favorite part of the visit was riding around the farm behind the tractor.